June 26th, 2010  •  Anniversary of a legend, lost.

This day, one year ago people like me didn't lose an entertainer or a good singer, we lost a piece of our own hearts, a real-life hero - a man who gave us hope, courage and a will to make our dreams come true.

Vicky and I have updated the gallery of our website. There are around 100 new HQ photos from the last few years of his life and some lovely pics from the Dangerous Tour.

View the pictures here

Over the next few days I will try my best to upload the HQ photos of the March 2009 press conference. I'm sure you will all understand that it's not easy to be able to look at his photos all day long, and adding and uploading photos can be time consuming, but I promise I'll get them up.

I hope this anniversary wasn't too hard for anyone and that we are all able to be grateful that we were blessed with MJ in our lives for this long.

Take care, friends!

Jess

  Jess @ 05:10 AM PDT •  Comments (8)  • Discuss

     June 25th, 2010  •  A Year...

  Vicky @ 03:47 PM PDT •  Comments (38)  • Discuss

     November 17th, 2009  •  Appropriate subject

Hello folks...

It has been a very, very long time since I have put anything here personally and I apologise profusely for that. For awhile, we had my open letter to Michael on the main page which is basically as much as I could muster for the time being... Michael's passing for me has been very hard to deal with, as I am sure for most other fans it has been. I had tickets to London shows in July, again like many others - the trip from Australia to London was supposed to be a really exciting adventure shared between me and one of my close friends. Instead, we ended up having to go on a trip half way around the world for something that instead of being joyous, was tragic and bittersweet. I have gone through the motions of being angry, sad, wanting answers -- even getting a little caught up in the "This Is Not It" hype -- until finally where I'm at now. And that is, just wanting to remember my first and only earthly super hero as what he was - a humble man, full of love for others and a beacon of light that he used to shine in the hearts of thousands.

I have seen This Is It ... In fact, I have seen it four or five times and I don't really care about the hype anymore, or the "choice'" words Karen Faye has delivered to fans for their 'need' to see it -- none of that matters. I just want to remember him for the special man that he was... The special, loving, kind man - so full of talent, an abundance of joy regardless of his surroundings and a great need to deliver a worldly message to those who may otherwise be deaf to such efforts.

I don't want Michael's passing to be in vain. I don't want anyone to ever forget his legacy - I want to continue carrying on his message of love and compassion - and his musical legacy - let it not be glossed over but rather never taken for granted.

Michael inspired both Vicky and I in our lives to become what we do for a living - being designers... and what a gift! Also, if it weren't for Michael, I wouldn't be with one of the greatest friends that I've ever had - despite the fact that we're an ocean apart ... yep, my Vicky and I never ever want to let that go.... so with that in mind, I have just uploaded 110 100x100 avatars for you all to use for whatever you feel necessary.

  Jess @ 08:45 PM PDT •    • Discuss

     October 3rd, 2009  •  Here We Go

Hey guys. I just want to say thanks for all the comments over the last month or so. They really motivated me to want to update again. I've read all of them. Emails, guestbook, and the ones right here. I guess MJ really does have sweet fans huh? He rubbed off on some of us it seems. I did update the gallery a few days ago I'm sure most of you have already noticed.

Click to go to the wallpaper.

Just like old times, I added a new wallpaper too. I love this picture. It's why I used it for the gallery this time around. I guess it's easy for me to look at it and imagine MJ somewhere quiet and serene, but happy. Added some clouds and birds and there you have it! =)

Thanks guys again. I know it's not much, but I did just add a few more pictures to the gallery, so check those out!

See ya..

  Vicky @ 12:31 AM PDT •    • Discuss

     September 21st, 2009  •  Some Thoughts...

This sucks and this will be long. Almost everyday I click on to the site with pondering thoughts of making it what it was, but then I get discouraged. I know that doesn't make sense. Having Michael die should have made us want to keep it alive more than ever right? I guess everyone deals with these things differently. Some of us probably listened to and watched him non-stop. Others, like me, couldn't even look at a picture without getting somewhat upset. This is what makes it hard.

I used to be so enthusiastic about this site. When we first opened it in 2005, updating it was a daily thing. Of course, with the trial going on that was a given. But, even after that, it was still just that fun. I changed the layout every month, sometimes even twice in the same month. In 2006 when Michael went to the World Music Awards in London, I left class early so I could come home and update the gallery with pictures as it happened. Jess and I happily downloaded and uploaded them together. When Michael posed for L’uomo Vogue the next year, I spent weeks and weeks on the prowl for that magazine. I finally found a magazine shop at my University that sold them. I remember emailing the owner several times until I finally got a call from him telling me he had two waiting for me. I got in my car and drove all the way to Seattle and picked them up. I still have one, wrapped and unopened.

Jess scanned them with her amazing scanner and I edited them to look clean and clear. After that, the MJ community finally had HQ versions of that shoot rather than the crappy scans that had been floating around. I don’t say that to brag, but I say that because I—we were very happy to have done that. It was all so exciting. MJ was coming back. Soon after that, he wrote us (the fans) a letter telling everyone he hoped we liked the shoot and that he was planning big things. So excited. Remember? That was October 2007.

It wasn’t until February this year that we got news of the big thing that he was planning. That was a lot of waiting. When I saw that press conference in February, I felt weird about it despite wanting to feel as excited as I would have imagined I would. I guess you only have to go a few posts down to read my reaction to it. I hope I was 100000% wrong and Michael had no worries or doubts going into it. I hope he signed on to them because HE wanted and not because he didn’t want to let anyone down. I try and tell myself that none of this had anything to do with where we are, but of course we all have passing thoughts. AEG hired Murray as Michael’s doctor after all (or so I’ve read). After the announcement of the shows, Michael’s weight diminished even more. I’m sure due to vigorous rehearsals and MJ’s disinterest in hearty eating. I don’t know. Michael always complained of not being able to sleep while he was on tour due to the adrenaline rush of being on stage and then having to wind down straight after. If he was already dealing with insomnia…who knows what stress he was under. Again, I don’t know. These are my passing thoughts. I get sad thinking that maybe he was doing things he wasn’t totally up to. I have a lot of thoughts on the things I’ve read and heard, but I’ll save them.

All I wanted was to hear his voice again. An album. As far as touring, I always wondered why no one ever pitched to MJ the idea of a stripped down show. Something less grueling. 50 shows? Maybe he should have eased into it. I remember when I first read they were upping it to 50, I thought..."Wow, is he up to that?" Not it the sense that I thought he'd lost his talent. It's just after you've gone a long time not doing something, it's hard to jump right back into it. We’ve all seen the trailer by now. That show was going to be big-time. Big-time. Maybe Michael couldn’t settle for anything less than that. It looked like it was going to be a great time and it looks from the trailer like he didn’t get any rustier with his moves while he was on hiatus. To be honest, if I saw that trailer and he was off on his steps, looking worn…it would have made things make more sense. However, to see him look so on top of it, it just makes his death that much more baffling. Makes you realize even more that there was nothing natural about his death at all. Shouldn't have happened. I try not to think about it too hard. I think I’m finished crying, I try to avoid it.

Anyway, I’m not going to close this site. I want to change it, it’s been the same for quite some time now. But I don’t know how active I can be in the process of updating. There are so many new pictures being released now that Michael has passed. I can’t keep up. That’s what MJJPictures.com is for I guess. That site is awesome isn’t it? I’d like to say that I could bring this site back to life and update it all the time, but I can’t. Life still calls me to other duties, but even besides that. It’s still all very sad for me. But at the least, I’m brainstorming ideas, to create something that memorializes him in some way with the layout. Even the current layout I have now makes me sad! Even the name of this site. I’m pathetic.

Give me ideas on what you think I should do. =)

Oh yeah, Madonna. I loved her speech, and I love how it was on MTV. MTV treated Michael terribly over the last decade. Just because of his history with the network—they owed him mandatory respect. It felt like she was talking to all of them. They even showed Jimmy Fallon, the little ass that pushed the knife in deeper with his mean joke the night they decided to humiliate him on his birthday. The year after they got Jack Black to dig it in even further. I have a strong dislike of MTV, not just because of that incident, but that just made it worse. I’m glad she didn’t pretend to have been his best friend like I’m seeing a lot of people do now. I’ve never been a big Madonna fan, but she’s always been respectful of Michael and I was very happy to listen to her speech. Having her remind everyone that he was only human was refreshing. People forgot that.

What did you guys think?

  Vicky @ 02:49 PM PDT •    • Discuss

     September 14th, 2009  •  Madonna.

"Michael Jackson was born in August, 1958. so was I. Michael Jackson grew up in the suburbs of the Midwest. So did I. Michael Jackson had eight brothers and sisters. So do I. When Michael Jackson was 6 he became a superstar and was perhaps the world's most beloved child. When I was 6 my mother died. I think he got the shorter end of the stick.

"I never had a mother, but he never had a childhood. And when you never get to have something, you become obsessed by it. I spent my childhood searching for my mother figures; sometimes I was successful. But how do you recreate your childhood when you are under the magnifying glass of the world for your entire life?

"There is no question that Michael Jackson was one of the greatest talents the world has ever known. ... That when he sang a song at the ripe old age of 8, he could make you feel like an experienced adult was squeezing your heart with his words. ... That the way he moved had the elegance of Fred Astaire and packed the punch of Muhammad Ali. ... That his music had an extra layer of inexplicable magic that didn't just make you want to dance but actually made you believe that you could fly, dare to dream, be anything that you wanted to be. Because that is what heroes do. And Michael Jackson was a hero.

"He performed in soccer stadiums around the world, he sold hundreds of millions of records, he dined with prime ministers and presidents. Girls fell in love with him, boys fell in love with him, everyone wanted to dance like him, he seemed otherworldly, but he was also a human being. Like most performers, he was shy and plagued with insecurities.

"I can't say we were great friends, but in 1991 I decided I wanted to get to know him better. I asked him out to dinner: I said, 'My treat, I'll drive, just you and me.' He agreed and showed up to my house without any bodyguards. We drove to the restaurant in my car. It was dark out, but he was still wearing sunglasses. I said, 'Michael, I feel like I'm talking to a limousine, do you think you could take off those glasses so I could see your eyes?' He paused for a moment, then he tossed the glasses out the window, looked at me with a wink and a smile and said, 'Can you see me now, is that better?'

"In that moment, I could see both his vulnerability and his charm. The rest of the dinner, I was hell-bent on getting him to eat French fries, drink wine, have dessert and say bad words, things he never seemed to allow himself to do. Later, we went back to my house to watch a movie and we sat on the couch like two kids, and somewhere in the middle of the film, his hand snuck over and held mine. It felt like he was looking for a friend more than a romance and I was happy to oblige him. And in that moment he didn't feel like a superstar, he felt like a human being. We went out a few more times together and then for one reason or another we fell out of touch. Then, the witch hunt began and it seemed like one negative story after the other was coming out about Michael. I felt his pain. I know what it's like to walk down the street and feel like the whole world has turned against you. I know what it's like to feel helpless and unable to defend yourself because the roar of the lynch mob is so loud that you are convinced your voice can never be heard.

"But I had a childhood, and I was allowed to make mistakes and find my own way in the world without the glare of the spotlight. When I first heard that Michael had died I was in London, days away from the opening of my tour. Michael was going to perform in the same venue as me a week later. All I could think about in that moment was that I had abandoned him. That we had abandoned him. That we had allowed this magnificent creature that once set the world on fire to somehow slip through the cracks. While he was trying to build a family and rebuild his career, we were all busy passing judgment. Most of us had turned our backs on him.

"In a desperate attempt to hold onto his memory, I went on the Internet to watch old clips of him dancing and singing on TV and onstage and I thought, 'My God, he was so unique, so original, so rare. And there will never be anyone like him again.' He was a king. But he was also a human being and alas, we are all human beings and sometimes we have to lose things before we can truly appreciate them. I want to end this on a positive note and say that my sons, age 9 and 4, are obsessed with Michael Jackson. There's a whole lot of crotch-grabbing and moonwalking going on in my house, and it seems like a whole new generation of kids has discovered his genius and are bringing him to life again. I hope that wherever Michael is now, he is smiling about this.

"Yes, yes Michael Jackson was a human being, but dammit, he was a king. Long live the king."

I'll have some words on this later, plus an update about the future of this site. If anyone is still around.

  Vicky @ 04:24 PM PDT •    • Discuss